Why is it hard for me to say I love you

Each human being is unique and unrepeatable, however, there are also characteristics with which a majority can feel identified. Many people claim that they don’t say I love you often. In fact, it is a very human experience to feel that there were many I love you to express after a couple breakup or after the death of a loved one.

Why I can hardly say I love you ? Fear is a feeling that can be connected to this circumstance, for this reason, in Psychology-Online we explain what are the reasons why a person may be afraid to say I love you despite feeling that love inside.

Fear of suffering

Just as sometimes it happens that infidelity is the turning point that marks the outcome in a love story, in the initial phase it can also happen that I love you changes everything between two people who are in a moment of knowledge. For example, a person says I love you by getting ahead of the other’s rhythms and this can make them feel overwhelmed by such high expectations. Therefore, the fear that something changes between the two can make a person prefer to save that I love you for another time.

Fear of being vulnerable

The emotional expression is never a source of weakness but of emotional strength, however, some people have the mistaken belief that when you open your heart unconditionally granted absolute power to the other. The center of your freedom is always in your own life axis and if you meet a person who plays with your feelings or does not value your trust, then you can make decisions to end that situation.

Beliefs about love

The beliefs you have about love are not in reality itself, however, they are the filter from which you observe the feelings and relationships of a couple. Thus, if you have limiting beliefs about what saying I love you in a relationship may mean, fear may be the natural consequence of such a situation. For example, the fear of loss of freedom. This is a belief that can condition a person when they feel that sharing their life as a couple poses an important limit regarding decision-making.

Beliefs about love

How to overcome the fear of saying “I love you”? 4 tips

  1. Say I love you through the facts. Words can not only be shown through words, but also through actions. There is a logical manifestation of love: caring. When you love a person, you want them to be well and you enjoy their well-being. For this reason, from your position, you can demonstrate this affective implication through simple details. That is, to say “I love you” without saying it , you can do it by showing that you care about that person.
  2. Through practical experience. The school of life is marked by experiences that provide you with reflections and conclusions. The basis of the theory is its application in practice. Just as a person overcomes the fear of speaking in public by gradually exposing themselves to situations in which they face this challenge, in the same way, when it comes to saying I love you, it is convenient to create real occasions in which you say I love you because you really feel it.
  3. Say I love you through writing . Sometimes a person feels uncomfortable saying I love you out loud, however, they feel more comfortable when they put these feelings in writing. Currently, technological language puts the written word in value. The traditional letter can help you open your heart through written reflection. In fact, you can also use stylistic resources that embellish the message to talk about love through metaphors.
  4. Value your bravery . Plato states: “There is no man so cowardly whom love does not make brave and transform into a hero.

Fear of being vulnerable

People who have a hard time saying “I love you”: 5 tips

  1. Avoid the constant trend of anticipation. If when you say I love you, you don’t connect with your inner voice but rather anticipate how you think the other person may react, you break the essence of that moment.
  2. Don’t say “I love you” if you don’t really mean it. Therefore, at the beginning of a love story, do not make promises that can weigh you down emotionally if they overwhelm you.
  3. Become aware of the finiteness of time and the shortness of life. When you postpone the act of saying I love you as if time were infinite, you start from an unrealistic context.
  4. Visualize yourself saying I love that person. Imagine the moment on a mental level. This visualization technique can give you confidence.
  5. Take care of your self-esteem. When you really love yourself, this self-love is the seed of respect for another.

Therefore, saying “I love you” is an act of vital wisdom that, precisely, makes you feel free because this feeling asks to be expressed.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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