It is very painful to know that a person whom you have loved and with whom you have shared many moments by their side, has come to develop a feeling as deep as hatred for you. . But what can make your ex hate you? There are different reasons why a person may harbor a feeling such as hatred after they have ended a relationship.
In this Psychology-Online article: why my ex hates me , we are going to let you know what are the main reasons your ex partner may have that deep feeling towards you.
My ex hates me and I did nothing to him: main reasons
There are many ways in which people can take a love break, depending on the way of being and the perception of the relationship and of life in general that each one has, since for some even having gone through a conflictive relationship and that caused a lot of pain can keep the learning that this left them , for others however it can only be a reason for suffering.
Here are the top reasons your ex may hate you for no apparent reason:
- He’s having a hard time. In the event that you have been responsible for ending the relationship, it may be that your ex partner is very hurt by this fact. Since she probably imagined that they would be together for much longer and had certain plans and expectations with you, she is extremely in love with you or she just doesn’t want to lose you. So instead of making his true feelings known and how bad he is going through what happened, he prefers to react by hating you because he thinks it is a way to overcome it and to calm his pain.
- Very recent break in the relationship. If you are the one who has left the relationship and your partner did not want to, it may be that right now she is very hurt and confused and this makes her react in this way. Remember that after a love breakup, since it is a loss, depending on the person and the type of relationship they had, it can go through a grieving process. In this case, your ex partner may have started in the phase of anger and rage that he feels about this situation. Coping with a breakup is not easy, and it is important to allow yourself to go your own way.
- Ego hurt. Another reason why your ex is hating you right now is that having made the decision to end the relationship, you have hurt his pride and he does not accept that it is you who left him and not her.
Why does my ex hate me and have a grudge against me
Doing an exercise in self-criticism is essential to discover the reasons why your ex does not want to continue being in contact with you, thinking about those behaviors that you have done wrong in the other person can be a hard but necessary step:
Bad treatments. If your ex-partner received some type of physical or psychological abuse from you and especially if this is very recent, it is totally normal that right now he is harboring this type of feeling towards you since you have devalued him and you definitely have not. respected. When there is disrespect in the partner, a normal response is usually hatred and rejection.
Infidelity. If the reason why you and your ex-partner ended the relationship was because of infidelity on your part, right now he may be hating you due to the great disappointment that this must have caused him since he did not feel respected and valued for that action.
Envy. Another reason why your ex hates you right now even though it’s been a long time since they ended their relationship is because they are jealous and envious to see how well you are doing in one or more areas of your life. For example, you may know that you have a very good relationship with your new partner and you didn’t have it with her, notice that you are doing very well in your work and she is not, among other things.
Why does my ex hate me – Why does my ex hate me and have a grudge against me
What to do if my ex hates me? Some advice
- Get away from her. If your ex-partner after a while and after having spoken with her in a peaceful and well-intentioned way, continues to call you or look for you to recriminate you for what happened, the problem is only her and not you. So instead of continuing to pretend to run the “party in peace” and make peace with it, the best thing you can do is to get away from it and not keep giving it to keep looking for you.
- Try to make the passes. If for some reason you and your ex-partner have to continue seeing each other, either because they have children in common, because they work together, etc. the best they can do is try to have as good a relationship as possible. So speak clearly, peacefully and sincerely with her and tell her how bad this situation makes you feel and the damage that it may be causing to her children or how harmful that can be for work and try to reach agreements where both give in but also win.
- Apologize. If your case is that the reason why your ex hates you is that you have hurt him, apologizing for what happened and showing your regret with action is crucial to alleviate that feeling. You must bear in mind that this does not have to be done in order to reestablish their relationship, but rather has to do with your sense of responsibility and making yourself responsible for your actions, assuming whatever the consequences of them are.
- Give time to the time. Sometimes a person who is hurt, no matter how hard you try to be in the best condition with them, will not change their attitude overnight. So it is necessary that you be tolerant and have patience since that person needs time to accept what happened and overcome the situation.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.