When infidelity occurs, we usually worry about the victim’s feelings, but it can also be a tough process for the person who has committed the infidelity. In Psychology-Online we want to explain to you what feelings a person experiences who have been unfaithful.You may also be interested in: What to do when they play with your feelings
What does a person feel after infidelity?
What a person feels after infidelity will depend on the type of person, their values and beliefs and the type of infidelity that has been committed.
Thus, for example, a person who until that moment considered himself faithful and who asks his partner for fidelity, after committing infidelity may feel regret and guilt. And yet you can repeat that act on more occasions.
There are also people who do not feel guilt. And those same people can feel guilty when they care the most about the person they cheat.
As we can see, there are no specific feelings for all unfaithful people right after committing infidelity, but below we are going to see some feelings or emotions that unfaithful people can experience.
How does a cheater feel
The feelings experienced by a person who has cheated on his partner are:
Recurring thoughts appear about the infidelity that has been committed or is being committed, which causes anxiety in the infidel. The consequences of his actions appear in his mind: accusation, judgment and social and family rejection, loss of partner and family, etc.
2. Guilt or remorse of conscience
Studies show that 60% of unfaithful people don’t feel guilty when they cheat . Except if the cheating occurs in specific circumstances, such as when their partner is hospitalized, when the infidelity occurs in the couple’s bed or when they feel more attracted or attracted to their lover than to their partner. Other circumstances in which guilt usually appears are when there is a pregnancy or your partner is currently taking care of the common children.
Guilt does usually appear when infidelity is discovered due to the emotional damage it has in the partner (pain, disappointment, betrayal …) and in the relationship (distancing, arguments, loss of trust and complicity …).
3. Fear of being discovered
The unfaithful person often lives in constant fear of being discovered. This can affect your mental health and is common for irritability.
Living constantly in fear or fear of being discovered produces a stressful situation in the unfaithful.
When infidelity is more of an adventure than a specific moment, the unfaithful begins to feel indecisive between his partner and his lover.
One of the feelings that a person who has been unfaithful experiences is sadness, which can appear associated with the feeling of guilt for the infidelity.
By keeping his infidelity a secret, the unfaithful person may feel frustrated at not being able to make certain plans with his lover so as not to be seen. He also feels frustrated that he cannot tell how he feels about his infidelity because of the danger it entails.
8. Increased self-esteem
Not all the emotions of the unfaithful are negative, if so, there would probably be no infidelity. Among the pleasant emotions and feelings that the unfaithful person experiences is the apparent increase in self-esteem or self-confidence. The unfaithful feels loved and admired by his / her lover . Also, you start to worry more about your physical appearance and take care of your appearance.
The encounters with his lover and his clandestine relationship make the infidel feel new illusions in his life.
All positive emotions are associated with an increase in their energy. You feel less tired and even though you are very busy you manage to make time for your lover.
What does an infidel feel when being discovered and how does he act
The first feeling of an infidel after being discovered is usually a mix of fear and relief. Although it may seem strange to have mentioned relief, it often happens that after being subjected to so much stress, the fact of being discovered makes you feel relieved.
In most cases, the person who has betrayed his partner continues to try to hide his cheating, which often makes the situation worse and provokes anger in his partner. If you feel identified or identified with this situation, you can read the following article: My partner is cheating on me and does not recognize it .
When there is no other choice, he recognizes his betrayal and that is when guilt may appear, as I mentioned earlier, by being able to verify the damage he has caused in his partner.
This is followed by the perhaps hardest or most feared phase of the infidel: social judgment and disappointment with loved ones. The unfaithful begins to experience the consequences of his infidelity and sees that they go far beyond the partner: his behavior is exposed and with a high probability he will be condemned. The infidel eventually becomes a victim.
Is it normal not to feel guilty after infidelity?
Yes it’s normal. In addition, this frequently occurs. It all depends on the type of person, their values and their beliefs.
When someone has rigid, absolute, and erroneous beliefs, they usually blame others or the world for their actions. This is why the unfaithful can justify his infidelity and therefore not feel an iota of guilt.
It can also happen when the infidelity has been revenge for infidelity or some other previous harm from your partner.
The moral norms associated with different cultures or different times can also justify that the unfaithful person does not feel guilt. For example, in cultures where polygamy is explicitly or implicitly allowed. It was common a few years ago to hear women justifying the infidelities of their husbands by “natural condition.”
Here you will find useful tips on How to act in the face of infidelity .
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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