Falling in love is always a reason for joy, we feel happier and life seems different to us. In fact, the brain of lovers causes physiological reactions and releases chemicals that are important to create that feeling. However, when we are no longer with that person, all this can become uneasy and even more so if we see that our former partner has resumed his life and for us time has stopped at the moment of his goodbye. From Psychology-Online we want to explain why your ex boasts of happiness and what to do .
Why does my ex say he’s better off without me?
Perhaps your ex-partner sees that you are still clinging to your relationship and does not know what to do so that you can see that yours has ended. Sometimes when people do not feel guilty for having hurt someone, we want to repair it in some way and we do not realize that sometimes we do not do it in the best way. Your ex-partner, in an attempt to get you to move on and forget about him or her, can blurt out phrases like “I’m better off without you” so you realize that your life must move on without the other person next to you.
Even so, it is also good that when someone has been important to you and tells you something that hurts you, such as “I’m better off without you” you act and defend yourself from that damage in the following way:
- Express how you feel . If what they have said has damaged you, it is important that you can express it and communicate it so that the other person can give you their reasons or simply apologize for what they have said.
- Ask why it does it . If we have any questions we have, it is best to expose it to the other person and be able to see their point of view.
- Check your relationship. When your ex makes such a statement to you, it may be a good time to review the relationship as objectively as possible. Perhaps for you it was also a harmful relationship and that allows you to open your eyes. In the following article we explain
when it is necessary to leave a relationship.
Why do I feel like my ex is happy and I’m not
You feel that your ex-partner has turned the page and you, however, are still stuck in that chapter of your life. You wonder why and find no answer. He/she is happy and I am not. This fact can be a cause of great sadness, anguish, and anxiety, for this we are going to see what may be happening
Maybe right now you are seeing all the qualities of your ex partner. When you think about him or her, only his virtues and everything he did well come to mind, but remember, like every human person, nobody is perfect. You feel that you have lost the best person in the world because you have idealized him and you cannot see the defects he also had.
Perhaps the expectations that you both had in the relationship weren’t the same. It may be that you saw yourself spending the rest of your life together and the idea that yours could end would never cross your mind. That is why you made joint goals and now you feel helpless, perhaps it is time to set your own goals.
Despite the fact that nowadays we can maintain contact with the person through social networks, it is important to bear in mind that only part of the person’s life is shown there. On these platforms, good times, joys, trips, etc. are usually shown. Do not stay only with what you can see there.
As already mentioned in the previous point, social networks can be a focus that keeps us tied in the past. Perhaps it can be good to distance yourself with that person on social networks, you can eliminate your ex-partner if you see it necessary to move forward. If you think this may be too radical and that the other person may take it badly, you can always send an explanatory message “for a while I prefer to stay out of my life with what I have preferred to stop following you on social networks, I hope you understand, it is for my good ”. In this article, we talk more about social media during a couple of breakup.
Talking too much about the person
There should be moments of everything in the process of getting over a breakup, but it’s important not to get obsessed with talking about your ex all the time. Don’t be at the center of all conversations! You need to give your thoughts fresh air with new conversation starters.
Family, friends, partner, coworkers are people who have a great influence on how people see ourselves, that is why experiencing one of these people leaving your life voluntarily can undermine your self-esteem.
Fear to loneliness
It may happen that the loss of the emotional bond with your partner has awakened in you a feeling of loneliness, and this has been even more accentuated if your ex-partner has already rebuilt his life. When we feel like this it is important to remember that in life we have more people around us and that one of the best companies we must be ourselves. Here we talk about how to overcome the fear of loneliness.
How to get over my ex is happy with his new partner
To get over your ex-partner, the first step is to regain confidence in yourself, for this, it is very important to strengthen self-esteem. Here are some exercises that can help you overcome your ex being happy with his new partner:
1. List of compliments
It is a very simple exercise, you must remember compliments that have been said throughout your life, the more recent the better and try not to be from your ex-partner. If at the moment of doing it you feel blocked and you do not remember any, take your mobile phone and do not be ashamed to ask your social circle. You will see how you are surprised by the good things they think of you! This exercise will help you see the good things you have and give you the energy to keep going.
2. Make plans
When we are sad we have a tendency to become more closed in on ourselves. It is important that we have moments of everything, moments where we can be making a plan by ourselves and others where we can go out and enjoy with other people. In addition, it is important that we do not wait for them to propose a plan to accept, but that we are the one who do it as well, that way we will see that our life continues without the other person by our side and that we have many others that can support us.
One of the most useful ways to combat sadness is to do some sports. Physical exercise activates our body and also our brain. The latter releases substances that increase your energy and well-being, thus helping you to forget the other person. Here you will find more information about what endorphins are and how they work.
4. Start something new
It’s time to start that activity you’ve always wanted to do, whether it’s starting dance classes, going on a trip or creating your own garden. You can divide the task into two parts if you prefer, a first part where you plan it (when would it be done, how would it be done, if it would be alone or accompanied) and a second part, in which it is carried out.
5. Take time
Stop spending time thinking about the other person and start spending time with yourself. Remember what makes you smile, your hobbies, that movie with which you always laugh, that friend who always brings out your best side, surround yourself with the family. Try to do everything in your power to increase your happiness and dedicate yourself fully to it.
6. Mindfulness or meditation
Meditation, mindfulness or mindfulness can help you accept reality without any pejorative assessment. It is a tool that allows you to focus your attention on the present moment. This can certainly improve your mood. Here you can see simple mindfulness exercises.
7. Ask yourself questions
Loss supposes a moment of crisis in a person’s life, but not everything is negative, as is said on many occasions and although sometimes it is difficult to believe, moments of crisis are moments of opportunity. It’s time to set yourself new challenges, goals, plans … To do this, I leave you some questions that can help you rethink what you want and where you want to go.
- How is my perfect day?
- What makes me lose track of time?
- Who inspires me? Why?
- What have I always wanted to do?
- What do I want to improve?
- What do I like about my life?
- Make a list of the things you are good at
- What do I want to achieve in life?
- What stops me?
- What are my most important values?
- What is stopping me from sleep?
- What helps me focus?
It is important that in moments when our emotions are on the surface we repeat to ourselves phrases that help us to be well with ourselves and that keep us away from the feelings of guilt and contempt that can lead to having lost your ex partner. For this I leave some phrases to be repeated throughout the day.
- I’m doing the best that I can
- I am proud of myself
- My strength is greater than my suffering
- I am surrounded by love
- I’ll let go of the things that I can’t control
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.