Falling in love with your best friend is more common than you think due to the close and special bond that is established with that person. Sometimes, when both parties fall in love it can be something truly extraordinary, since previously there was already a strong bond of union and trust, although there are always exceptions where the opposite happens and the relationship, if not you learn to manage well, it may end up in poor condition.
On the other hand, there is also the situation where one of the parties does not feel the same for the other person, which causes conflict and even suffering not only in the person in love but also in the person who is not, since it can be seen at risk their friendship relationship. But what do you do when you are in love with your best friend and she is not in love with you? Why have you fallen madly in love with her? What do you do if she has a boyfriend? In this Psychology-Online article: “I’m in love with my best friend, but she doesn’t: what do I do?” , we are going to answer all these questions that will be constantly haunting your mind and that does not leave you alone.
Why am I in love with my best friend?’
As I mentioned earlier, this situation where you end up falling in love with your best friend is a fairly common situation, since the bond that has been established between the two is quite strong. As a summary, I am going to explain to you what are the main reasons why you are right now madly in love with your best friend:
They have had many experiences, both good and fun and bad together.
They have spent so much time together that they even laugh at the same things and have very similar tastes.
The level of trust you have in your best friend is much higher than that of other people, even your family.
You feel totally understood and free with it, being able to be yourself without feeling judged.
You have a lot of physical contact with her more than with other people.
You like the way he is and you really enjoy his company.
You consider that she is the person who knows you the most and you also know her very well.
He is the person to whom you trust everything or almost everything and knows your secrets.
These, among many other reasons, are the causes that right now you feel in love with your best friend, it may even be that she has always seemed an attractive person or that you have found her more attractive every time, so you began to fall in love with her.
What to do if you fall in love with your best friend?
If you are in love with your best friend and you do not know what to do, then I will briefly explain a series of tips that you can carry out so that things do not get out of control and above all, that beautiful relationship you have does not end up damaged:
Reflect on how you feel. Reflect with yourself about your feelings towards her and notice things that you may not have paid attention to, such as the moment you started falling in love with her or if you already had feelings for her from the beginning. Think about the possibilities you could have that she feels the same way about you, how your relationship would be if you both felt the same and wanted to start one, what kind of relationship you would like to form with her, etc.
Talk to her about how you feel. Since she is your best friend, once you are clear about how you feel about her, the best thing you can do is be honest and express everything you feel and think about your relationship. You can start by telling her what you like about her relationship, the way she is, and, finally, how you feel about it and gradually express your love for her.
Find a quiet time and place to talk. Schedule a specific date and time to talk with her where you know that they will not be interrupted and that they have enough time so that their conversation is not going to be left half and also avoid misunderstandings.
Listen to him carefully. When you are talking to her about your feelings in a calm and unhurried way, try to listen to her as well and allow her to speak and give feedback on what you are saying.
Respect their feelings. If she finally tells you that she does not feel the same way about you and that she has always seen you as a great friend, do not be angry with her, finally, she is also being honest with you. On the contrary, be grateful for their sincerity, as it would be worse if they created false illusions.
Reach an agreement. In case she feels the same way about you, talk about the relationship you would like to have, and if you both agree on the same thing, as well as if she is not in love with you, try to reach an agreement where you both do not get affected. Keep in mind that sometimes you need to get away from her for a while in case it causes pain to be by her side, creating false hopes yourself.
I’m in love with my best friend and she has a boyfriend: what do I do?
If everything or almost everything I mentioned above happens to you and you feel extremely in love with your best friend, but there is another bigger problem and that is that she has a boyfriend, what could you do in this case? Surely, you may be having a very bad time because you are currently in a relationship with another person or it may also not affect you too much, since on other occasions you have also had other relationships and you too.
However, you don’t feel entirely comfortable now that you’ve realized that your love for her is quite strong. Something you can do in these cases is, first, be honest with yourself, reflect on the situation and what is happening to you, since it is not likely but you must rule out that it is simply confusion and that you really feel for it be admiration or attraction.
Once you have thought about it and are clear about it, if after having spoken with her and having followed the recommendations set out above, she decides to continue the relationship with her boyfriend because she does not feel the same way about you, the best thing is that, at least For a while, walk away why? Because if you don’t move away and keep living constantly with her and even with her boyfriend, you are only going to hurt yourself more and your pain is going to be prolonged. Apart from the fact that you will not feel comfortable with her as you did before, which will cause your friendship to deteriorate as well. Remember that time heals everything and if you later meet someone with whom you fall in love or have simply managed to forget them, you are more likely to make your friendship work as before. In the following article, we show some good advice on how to forget an unrequited love.
I’m in love with my best friend, but she’s not: what do I do? – I’m in love with my best friend and she has a boyfriend: what do I do?
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.