When a breakup occurs, many emotions are most common, some pleasant, such as release or a feeling of hope, and others uncomfortable such as fear, guilt, a feeling of failure, or sadness.
I miss my ex, what do I do? Nobody likes to feel these emotions that we label as negative but they are necessary to emerge stronger from the breakup. If you miss your ex-partner, keep reading this Psychology-Online article. It will help you cope.
Now I miss him: the grieving process
When we go through a breakup, we begin a grieving process in which we will foreseeably go through different stages. At first we can fall into a state of shock and remain frozen and numb. In later stages, we will feel deeper pain, during which we can think that without the other we are nothing. When a bond is so strong and deep and we lose it, we go through a phase where we feel a strong need for the other. However, feeling that pain is necessary to be able to separate ourselves from that person later . Coping with the frustration that things are not as we would like is a tough process. There are times when we need to look for reasons, look to blame, or blame ourselves.
I miss my ex but I left him
Analyze and learn from what happened to continue growing, but do not judge or blame because it will only make the suffering grow. I advise you to get rid of your anger, a product of the frustration of life expectations, of common projects, of your broken heart. Expressing our emotions can help us, although this does not change the situation. Let the duel run its course.
The pain has to be lived, do not stop the spontaneity of your feelings, do not try to cover the pain. Although it may not seem like it, suffering, crying, reflecting … will help us face the loss. It is vital to work on emotions and not run away from them. In this way we will reach the point of adaptation to reality where your ex-partner no longer has a place but where little by little we will find other new things that will surely make us feel better.
Tips to stop thinking about your ex
Now that you know the process of grieving over a breakup, you should take note of these tips if you want to stop missing your ex:
- Accept that the relationship is over. The process of separating and recovering takes time. Don’t put pressure on yourself.
- Life goes on . Therefore, continue with your goals and illusions. Focus on yourself and develop your personal growth, get to know yourself better, discover what your motivations are.
- Create new memories. You do not have to stop going to the places you went with your partner, it is about creating new memories in the company of friends or family.
- The feeling of wanting to get back with your ex is natural. Our mind has become accustomed to its presence and we associate everything with it. However, don’t be tempted to seek out the contact.
- Even if you have had a bad experience with your ex, don’t be afraid and open yourself up to new experiences. Nobody wants to suffer but if we do not accept that at some point in our lives we can suffer and you close yourself to avoid having your heartbroken, you will be giving up love.
- Write how you feel , or discuss it with someone you trust. It’s a great way to let go of what’s inside you, without getting in touch with your ex.
- Get rid of the things that remind you of him/her. Put your things away, you don’t have to throw them away. You may want to retrieve them later when you are over it.
- Don’t isolate yourself. The greatest source of emotional support is our friends and family. It is also good to expand your social circle, meet new people who bring you new sensations.
- Practice a sport, go on a trip or simply give life to your hobbies. You will get your mind busier and fill those gaps that your ex-partner has left.
- Live in the present. Do things that you like and fill you up and don’t think about future projects for a while. Find out here how to forget the past and live in the present.
I miss my ex: should I worry?
The time we need to stop experiencing the sensation of pain in the face of loss depends on many factors: our personality, life experiences, the emotional support we receive from family and friends, our age … and of course, the type of breakdown we have experienced.
The truth is that it is difficult to be strong in a couple of breakup. If you see that time passes and the fact that you do not stop thinking about your partner prevents you from living a relatively normal life or affects your relationships with other people, we recommend that you contact a professional.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.