The decision to make in a process of falling out of love is always personal. However, this situation should be viewed as a matter of two. Your falling out of love affects not only you but also your partner. It is not about making a decision in one day, but neither does this change in feelings occur immediately. It is likely that when you make your final decision, you have been reflecting on it for some time. In Psychology-Online, we write about this question: “ I have fallen out of love with my partner: what do I do? ”.
Have I fallen out of love? 6 signals
Sometimes, it is not easy to identify that you have fallen out of love, hoping that things will change. We give you 6 signs to know if you want to fall in love:
- You feel far from that person even when you are physically close. This distance can be seen, for example, in different interests in conversations, in the boredom of shared plans in common or in the desire to spend more time alone or with friends than as a couple. When you have fallen out of love, you have a feeling of emptiness, compared to the illusion of previous stages.
- You dream of a change in your life. When you visualize your future projecting the present into tomorrow, you experience disappointment because that idea does not make you happy. You spend time reflecting on this need for change, even if for the moment you have only remained on the theoretical plane and have not taken the step to action.
- A negative balance of the last stage of the relationship. There are periods that are very favorable to carry out this balancing exercise from the perspective of time. For example, the anniversary date. When you have fallen out of love, your reading of the relationship reflects this response, not so much by external circumstances, but by the very essence of the current state of the situation between the two of you. For example, communication difficulties in the couple.
- Lack of motivation. When you have fallen out of love, you can listen to your inner voice to find the ultimate answer. You have a lack of motivation to share time in common, to dedicate nice words to the other person or to surprise them. Your partner tells you that you have changed.
- You would like to be alone. When you have fallen out of love, you visualize yourself starting a new stage, you feel that you have the need to do it and this idea is becoming a priority for you.
- Frequent complaint. The dissatisfaction of falling out of love can also manifest itself through messages expressed in this tone.
A person who has fallen out of love has several of these and other symptoms of the crushing process. However, remember that each story is unique. Therefore, it is very important that you spend time with yourself to find your answer.
I have fallen out of love, what do I do? 5 tips
If you meet the previous signs and you know that you have fallen out of love, but you do not know what to do, we give you 5 tips:
- Contextualize the situation to a particular moment. For example, you may feel like you are in the initial period of distancing yourself. In that case, hearing these symptoms, you may want to give yourself some time to try and regain the illusion. An answer that will be different if you feel that falling out of love is definitive.
- Talk to someone you trust. Verbalize what you feel, express your feelings, share your concern. If you still do not want to involve someone else in this situation, you can write a diary finding in this exercise space of intimacy.
- Evaluate different possible options from your own point of view, observing what changes each of the decisions will bring to your life. It is important that when you make your decision, you assume the consequences of it.
- Face this pending conversation. When you have fallen out of love, you have the recurring feeling of this pending issue between the two of you. Share your decision with the other person, listen to what they have to tell you, live that moment without drama. This pending conversation does not have to mean only the possibility of communicating the break. You may first prefer to share the doubts you are having with your partner. Or you want to communicate your desire to give yourself time.
- Don’t put off the decision for a long time. Suffering, in a situation of this type, grows when you stay in the same point. Listen to your emotions. There are no general answers in a situation of falling out of love seen universally. Find your own answer starring in this moment from your best version.
4 mistakes to avoid when you’ve fallen out of love
It is not always easy to know what to do when you have fallen out of love. What is better to avoid?
- Staying in the relationship for fear of loneliness. In fact, the loneliness that you can feel when being with a person with whom you are not in love is even greater than the one you feel when you are with you. In that case, you not only distance yourself from the other, but also from yourself.
- Distract yourself from the constant occupation. Another point to avoid when you have fallen out of love is not thinking about what is happening to you when you are focused on an agenda full of plans and tasks. It is not positive that you only think about this, but it is not positive that you avoid facing this issue.
- Hold yourself responsible for the happiness of the other person. The fear of hurting the other’s feelings can cause someone to postpone that pending conversation. If you have fallen out of love, your partner has the right to know.
- Stay on the plane of concern but not move on to the plane of action. Worrying about this falling out of love but not planning what you are going to do about it. If you find yourself living in such a moment, try asking yourself questions that propel you into action.
Therefore, if you feel that you have fallen out of love with your partner if you think that you no longer love your partner, share time with you to listen to your feelings and find your answer.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.