The human being can have different forms of chains that limit his freedom. Some chains can be internal. Obsession is an example of this. Fortunately, anyone can free themselves from such bondage, but to do so, they have to be committed to this personal goal. This occurs when the person assumes that this feeling does not make him happy, on the contrary, it makes him feel defenseless by living constantly conditioned by this desire that seems to overshadow any other type of expectation. ¿ How to overcome an obsession with someone? At Psychology-Online we would like to help you.
tips to overcome an obsession for someone
Once we have identified that we are obsessed with a person, it is time to learn to treat them. To do this, we recommend that you follow these steps:
1. Occupy your time and life with other people
That does not mean that by surrounding yourself with friends and loved ones that make you feel good this discomfort will disappear in a matter of a day. However, if you are coherent and consistent with this idea, little by little, you will have more distance from that person who focuses your attention, and you will have new experiences that allow you to acquire a new vision about your life in general, and about this matter. in particular.
2. Beware of imagination
Obsession can grow exponentially from this path in which you recreate the image of a perfect person and dream of happy scenes by his side. Confront the imagination by way of experience by making an objective reading of the facts. We recommend you read this article on how to stop idealizing someone.
3. Beware of the eternal question: “What if?”
For example, “What if the situation changes in the future?” This question can not only be applied to this situation but to any context of doubt. However, it is not a question that puts the focus in the right place. What are you going to do from now on after having lived this experience? This is a question that helps you focus on the present and the short term of your life.
Do not ask other people for possible news in the life of that someone you want to forget. And if you notice that someone adopts this attitude with you, then express this wish to them. For this obsession to go away, you also have to make room in your life for novelty. If that person continues to occupy all your time on an emotional level, you are not conducive to a real evolution.
4. Psychological help
If you think you need this specialized support to turn the page of this episode in your life, choose an expert, qualified and trustworthy professional. In this way, you can advance step by step in each session, eliminating emotional dependence and counting on the support of the specialist who treats you.
Symptoms and beliefs of an obsession with a person
Your own beliefs can fuel this obsession. What are the common ideas?
” My happiness depends on you .” When you obsess over a person you suffer because you turn this feeling into a need. And this need fuels dependency. Your happiness is within you. Don’t put it in the wrong place.
” I have never felt anything like it for anyone .” The idealization of your own feelings and intensity can make you mistake love for an obsession. In fact, in such a situation, the question is not to love more but to love better. And, for this, you have to start by loving yourself better.
“He is my prototype of person .” Perhaps you had the ideal image of a possible partner, however, it is positive that you let life surprise you. Don’t be a slave to your own ideal and know people as they are.
” I am not valuable enough for that person .” Do not put your self-esteem on this factor that has nothing to do with your own worth. What happens is that, sometimes, the obsession can cloud the vision of what is truly important.
” This feeling makes me feel alive .” In opposition to the constant restlessness that accompanies an obsession, true happiness resides in a stable state of mind that is incompatible with this situation.
Obsession for a person: treatment
How to occupy your mind to ward off this obsession for someone?
At work . The professional field acquires a therapeutic value when you focus more on this aspect to try to steal the limelight from that obsession that weighs on an emotional level. Work issues are more immediate, therefore, they refer to the present.
In you . You have been waiting for that person for so long that you deserve to take care of yourself and resume your own life with all that it implies. That is, start focusing your energy on your own stories and find your own path and vocation.
In your family and friends. Hear other stories, no other life stories. Let those teachings also occupy a part of your time.
Be interested in topics that you like in a self-taught way. Learn at your own pace through reading, for example. If you wish, you can also take courses.
How to overcome an obsession with someone? Make a commitment to your own happiness and go out to find yourself.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.