How to know if you want something serious

When we start flirting with a person, on many occasions, illusions are awakened, we place certain expectations on that person but doubts may also haunt us: does the other person think the same as me? Are we at the same point? What if you want just one roll? In Psychology-Online we want to give you 15 signs that can help you know if that special someone wants something serious .

How to know if it is a roll or something else

Below we can see certain differences between the attitude of a person who wants a roll and one who wants something serious:

The communication

In the case that the person wants something serious, communication is quite habitual and fluid. On the other hand, when the person only wants a roll, what they usually do is talk to you only when they want to meet you, without showing prior interest. In this article you will find 20 signs that someone likes you on WhatsApp .

The dates

When a person wants something serious, normally the appointments are usually varied, one day you make a plan, another you change and go to another place, etc. When a person only wants a roll, it usually happens that the plans are usually very monotonous.

The level of intimacy

In the event that the person only wants one roll, the level of intimacy will be basically sexual. The person who wants something serious with you will seek, apart from sexual intimacy, other ways of knowing you in a deeper way , asking you about aspects of your life, facts that have marked you, etc.

Listen to her

If the person is interested in you, they will listen carefully to what you tell them and they will also keep certain details to ask you later.

The priorities

In a person’s life there are different priorities: family, friends, work, etc. When you appear, you have become another of his priorities, that does not mean that he always makes plans with you, but he looks for time or offers alternatives to stay. It shows you that you are important in his life. The person who only wants a roll, will prioritize you only when it interests him.

Third persons

The person who just wants a roll, probably at some point will talk to you or will escape talking about someone else in his life.


It can happen that the person who only wants a roll does not want to meet you in public spaces. The reason? Not wanting other people to see you and interpret what it is not.

The sensations

People who want something more usually arouse some confidence in the other person. If you just want a roll, the feeling of meeting that person will not be as pleasant. In this article we explain what it feels like to be truly in love.

What attitudes does a person have who wants something serious?

The person who wants something serious with you, probably shows one of the following characteristics:


A person looking for a serious relationship is constantly talking to you. Look for conversation topics, don’t let it fade.


When you want something serious with a person, you show interest in them. You worry about knowing their concerns, their hobbies, their fears, etc. Also, in turn, you take care that the other person knows you too. Here you will find 60 questions to meet someone you like.

The details

The person who really wants something serious with you takes care of the details. It informs you when it is going to have to be absent, says goodbye to you and greets you every day, takes your opinion into account to make plans, and even remembers what food you like to go to lunch or dinner.

Evolution of plans

These are more and more elaborate, in accordance with the evolution of the relationship. You have gone from going for a drink to the next dinner date to, finally, after a while, going to spend a weekend together.

Future plans

Talking about the future with you doesn’t have to mean long term. In the immediate future, he has you in mind. He proposes you to meet his friends, he includes you in some plans such as vacation periods. A person who does not want anything serious will never talk to you about a not too distant future, they will live today and will not want to talk about tomorrow.


Highlight your qualities that go beyond physical appearance. Affirm that he likes the way you are, your smile, the look, etc.


He opens up to you and tells you about his personal life, his concerns and desires, plans he has … In short, he makes you a participant in his life.

How to ask if you want something serious

Asking someone what they want with us is perhaps the part that costs us the most. Below we propose a question format that can give us the answer we are looking for:

Ask about previous relationships

This question is often very revealing. Sometimes, just by asking that, the person directly answers things like: “after my ex-partner, I no longer want anything serious.” At that moment you can get an idea that he only wants one roll, despite this, it does not hurt to ask some more questions to ensure.

At what point are we?

This question is better to ask when you have been dating for a while. It can be good to define if the two of you are at the same point, ask where this leads and at what point do you see each other.

What do you want with me?

This question is perhaps the most direct of all, yet it is very informative. You might get answers like: I want to meet you but I don’t want to go so fast. This type of answer is logical, even so, it can be specified by expressing that you are looking for it; I also want to meet someone, and I understand that we cannot understand each other and therefore, we stop knowing each other … but now I don’t just want a roll.

Why did you download …?

In case you have met the person on a dating app, you can also ask why they downloaded the app. Depending on the reason for which the App was downloaded, it can give you many clues of what intentions it may have with you.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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