A breakup always hurts, even when it happens by mutual agreement. A sentimental goodbye means a break in expectations, but when heartbreak comes as a consequence of infidelity, this fact brings a new nuance to the relationship, since whoever has felt cheated by this issue, does not observe the love story only in terms of two protagonists. How to overcome a love break up due to infidelity? In this Psychology-Online article, we give you the keys to feel better from a process of mental recovery that starts from the need to reconnect with yourself after what happened.
Phases of bereavement for infidelity
When you have lived a circumstance of these characteristics, not only do you feel the loss of that love, but you also have mixed feelings towards that person with whom you have shared so many happy moments. Grieving means experiencing the emotion associated with this de-idealization process where you find reality as it is and not how you would like it to be.
Live this process from the patience of feeling how the passing of the days is therapeutic to alleviate that initial emotional storm. However, naturally accept the stages of denial, anger, frustration, acceptance, and recovery of joy that you may experience after this moment.
In addition, this time is also healing because it gives you a context in which you can rest the pain of internal wounds from the reunion with yourself. Cry if you need it, express this relief for a disappointment.
The first year after the breakup is especially significant when it comes to a stable and lasting relationship that leaves behind memories of birthdays, special dates, and couple traditions. Be patient because even if you feel that you have not forgotten, it is very possible that you are closer to achieving it than you imagine.
In the following article, you can find out the answer to how long to grieve over a breakup.
Reinvent yourself after the breakup
You are still the same person as always, but you have evolved because this experience has also made you grow but, furthermore, although you are still the same person as always, your circumstances are no longer the same. This can be an incentive to update some of your free time routines, personal plans or expectations. Build your present thinking of you and your well-being. Therefore, make decisions that help you create new opportunities on a personal and professional level.
The risk of the infidelity breakup that turns into trauma is that the person can become stuck in that specific fact. However, through an attitude of personal empowerment in this new stage, you are moving in the desired direction.
Overcoming a painful breakup and this moment of change can be complex, simply because you face new situations that in some cases break with your previous life script. Assume your sentimental reality and do not leave anything that is meaningful to you fairy just for the fact that you no longer have a partner. For example, if you were planning to take a trip to a destination that you were wanting to know, make a plan B alternative to that romantic trip.
How to overcome a love break up due to infidelity? Putting your attention on you, giving you the space you deserve in your own life. Try to find some positive points to this situation. For example, it is better to face the breakup than to live deceived in a love that is not such. The truth sets you free.
How to take care of your self-esteem after a breakup due to infidelity
Love for yourself is something that depends on you. For this reason, to minimize the impact that this situation may have had on your self-esteem, try to take care of yourself as you have always done. For example, take care of your image through fashion adapted to your own personality, take care of your diet through the preparation of appetizing and nutritious menus, invest in your rest, beautify the decoration of your home through some new interior design detail, schedule walks and establish routines that you like.
You may feel fragile and vulnerable right now. However, keep in mind that your friends and family can accompany you in this process as a point of support for you, although they cannot carry out this farewell process in your place. For this reason, try to apply in the first person all the personal care advice that you would give your best friend if he were living this situation just like you. Do not stay solely at the level of theory, take that care into action. In the following article, you can see good techniques to improve your self-esteem.
If you haven’t started a family together, then cut any ties with your ex. Let it play that role in your life. Close the door to any potential friendships right now. You may change your mind over time if you feel ready to really be friends. If you have children, then foster a good relationship with your ex focused on managing those details that have to do with children. Trust that your feeling of discomfort will fade over time, and then you will feel more prepared to maintain a normal bond.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.