Some people come to a point in their life when they draw the conclusion that they want to stop suffering from stories in which they give a lot and receive little in return. Or, also, stories that seem to repeat a similar pattern. It is then when the person arises to be cold in love.
This message, in reality, can also be expressed with the idea of taking a greater emotional distance in falling in love so as not to confuse it with love. ¿ How to be a cold person in love? In Psychology-Online, we give you the keys to protect your heart. However, don’t confuse this idea with not feeling.
Psychology tips to be a cold person in love
Learn from past experiences where you saw the turn of a story completely change from a disappointment that shattered the ideal you had in mind about that person. Try to turn that knowledge into prudence. It is not about stopping believing in love, but about understanding that, sometimes, people are not as they appear at first. And that, therefore, it is necessary to take time to get to know someone.
Use reason . Feeling is very important, however, the heart is wiser when it is illuminated by the light of reason. How many times does your mind tell you one thing and your heart tell you the opposite? Sometimes rationality can help you put a feeling in context in order not to make decisions on impulse.
Never make a drastic decision in your life if you are in the euphoria of love. Stay true to your habits and customs. But do not change your whole life at this moment because soon after you can regret it.
Never do anything you don’t want to do even if you feel like you’re disappointing the other person. If you feel like he’s asking you to renounce being you to become his ideal, then listen to your common sense . If he tells you messages that condition your freedom, do the same. For example, watch out for this message: “If you loved me, you would do it for me.”
Measure your level of involvement in the story to gain confidence in each decision you make by listening to the rhythm of your internal time, which is the most important.
How to be a cold and calculating person when you want to forget someone
One of the situations in which many people conclude that they want to be cold and calculating in love is when they wish to forget a person and believe that this is the best way to achieve it. How to fulfill this purpose?
1. Make your commitment with this attitude
If this is really your wish, then reflect on the reasons why you want to adopt this attitude and be consistent in practice with this purpose. For example, if the other person writes you a message, don’t reply.
2. Be clear about the objective
If you adopt this attitude of coldness as a mechanism of indifference, it is important that you keep in mind that the reason for this action is not to arouse the interest of that person but to forget him permanently. That is, it is not a seduction strategy but a necessary process of forgetting.
3. Delete memories
For example, you can tear up the photos you keep of that person. Do the same with their WhatsApp messages or any detail that has sentimental value to you. When you erase these memories, you do not immediately erase that person’s presence from your mind. However, you have taken an important step in eliminating emotional attachment.
4. Appreciate your loneliness
And find in it a refuge in which to feel good and be calm. This loneliness can be a healthy distance to think about yourself and what you want to do. However, don’t take loneliness as a literal message. This is a good time to let yourself be accompanied by the people who love you. They can be a very important foothold when you have the desire to reconnect with your ex. For example, you can phone a friend instead of contacting him.
How not to have feelings in an unstable relationship
This is another of the situations in which it is convenient to know how to be a cold person in love. In this case, to make a firm decision to break up that does not lead, over time, to a new reconciliation. What to do when you are immersed in a story that follows the scheme ” neither with you nor without you “?
Analyze the previous trajectory of this relationship. How many chances have you given that person? And what has always been the result? What has happened before is what will happen again now if you act in the same way again. Remember that if you want to get different results, you also have to take different actions.
Ask for psychological help. One of the risks of this type of relationship is the psychological hook that a person experiences when he believes that his happiness depends on being with his ex. Psychological support can give you the strength not to call your ex with the initial nostalgia for the breakup.
Speak clearly with your ex and express your intention to forget him for good. It is time to tell him that this relationship has ended without uttering any message that could generate some kind of confusion about the future between the two.
Assume that you don’t want to suffer from a relationship that is tormenting you again. Feel inner peace as a way to increase your self-esteem and nurture self-esteem.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.