He writes to me but he doesn’t want to meet me, why?

You’re talking all day, the conversation never seems to end. The next day back again. There is good vibes, you feel a feeling between the two of you, you would like to go further and see how it goes without the screen in the middle, if there is the same chemistry or not. There is only one problem and that is that you do not see that the other person wants to take the step to meet you. When the subject came up, he replied that later on and, despite the fact that you like to talk to that person, it is starting to make it a bit difficult for you to continue down that path. You need to see the person once and for all and not continue with that telematic relationship. In Psychology-Online we want to explain what may be happening so that this person writes to you but does not want to meet you .

He speaks to me but does not propose to meet, is it normal?

There are more extroverts and others more introverts, the latter can sometimes have more difficulties to take another step in a relationship. It may happen that the person feels very comfortable talking to you and that they really like you, since, if not, they would not talk to you as often. Still, if you’ve been talking for a while, you should want to go one step further. It is normal that at first there are people who find it more difficult to ask for a face-to-face date, but after a while they should want to meet and dare to see the person behind the screen more closely.

Why do you keep talking to me if you don’t want to meet me

If he doesn’t want to meet, why does he talk to you constantly? It seems strange and for this it is a common question to which we are going to answer. Next, we see a list of causes that may be causing the other person not to take another step:

1. Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem leads to insecurities and that can affect social life and, obviously, when it comes to meeting someone. The fear of criticism or not meeting the expectations expected by the other person makes this person put difficulties and impediments when it comes to meeting you. In this article you can see the characteristics of people with low self-esteem .

2. Introversion

The introvert is very thoughtful and tends to be more sociable with people they know well, so they will spend a lot of time getting to know you before taking a step on how to meet. His comfort zone goes through first knowing more about you and later feeling more comfortable when facing a face-to-face date. If you want to be able to identify this type of personality, here you will find all the characteristics of an introvert .

3. Fear

The fear is an emotion that often can be paralyzing. There are people who due to various situations, facing a date can cause them some fear and they prefer to have long conversations but not face to face.

4. Physical complex

The physical complex is related to self-esteem, despite this, it is something peculiar, there are people whose physical appearance causes them great insecurity but they know that their conversation is very interesting and can contribute great things to the other person. Even so, today we live in a society where physical appearance continues to play a very important role when it comes to meeting someone or not. This fact can make the person try until the last moment to be drawing your attention for how he is , that way, when he is with you, the physical will no longer play that first role. If you think this may be what is holding back the other person, emphasize that for you the physical is not the most important thing about a person.

5. Shyness

Unlike introversion, where the person interacts only with those people they know well, the shy person is nervous about any social event , regardless of whether they know them or not. Perhaps the shy person feels more comfortable talking to you behind a screen and the mere fact of thinking that he has to stay, causes him some anxiety .

6. Negative experiences

On our backs we all carry a backpack of experiences, some positive, others not so much. It may happen that if in love matters we have had some bad experiences, they weigh us too much and slow us down when it comes to taking another step to meet someone, for fear of adding another negative experience and being unable to see that perhaps they do not have why be negative and can be positive. If you think that this may be the reason why the person does not dare to take the step, it is important to validate how they may feel and even give examples of yourself.

Example: “The truth is that on some occasion I have also been hurt on this issue, I have been excited and then nothing. I understand perfectly how you must be feeling.”

7. Is with someone else

It may be that he finds you a very interesting person but his current situation, which he may not have told you about, is that he already has someone in his life and he is simply looking for a passing fun in you to meet certain needs of the relationship.

What to do when a person confuses you

When someone confuses us, we must take the reins to clarify the situation. To do this, next we are going to see what we can do when a person feels that he is confusing us.

Take the initiative

You’ve been talking too long now not to meet. Ahead! You propose it . Perhaps all his insecurities disappear when he sees that you too want to take another step and he or she did not dare to tell you.

What do you think about me?

Perhaps it may give the feeling that this question is not very consistent with why you do not see each other, but it is true that before taking a step like meeting, it may be good to know what opinion the other person has about you. In addition, depending on the answer, we can guess if the person wants to take another step or not.

Why don’t we meet?

The most direct question of all, but it will solve any doubts on the subject and it will allow us to make a decision on whether or not to continue conversations with the person.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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